Act Like A Lady-Think Like A Man

Here are the questions for Steve Harvey's book. Please feel free to post your comments here.

1. What specific kind of man are you looking for?

2. How do you expect to be persued? Do you want regular phone calls?
Text messages? Dates at least three times a week? Do you want him to
always pick up the tab?

3. What level of commitment do you expect? Do you want an open
relationship? Or to date exclusively? Should it be up for discussion?

4. What kind of financial security do you expect this man to have? Do
you want him to be rich? Do you want him to make more money than
you? Are you okay with a blue-collar worker?

5. Do you want a man who wants kids and is family oriented?

6. Does he have to be religious/spiritual?

7. Do you mind if he's divorced or has kids?

8. Can you help a man build his dream? Can you adapt to his plan?

9. What do you expect of his family? Should you get along with his
mother? Do you care if he doesn't get along with her? Or if his father
was never around?

10. What should he be willing to do to woo you? Should he persue you?
Give you expensive gifts?

11. What are your tru feelings about this book? Do you feel that it has
helped you to anaylze relationships better?

12. What are your perceptions regarding how men need to be treated?

13. Do you feel that there are double standards when it comes to
adapting to the need, wants, and dreams of a man?

14. After reading this book, do you feel confident about your current or
next relationship?

15. Do you feel that Steve's advise provided you with armor and
ammunition for dealing with men on another level?

16. How do you think that you could have implemented some of the
strategies that Steve laid out in past relationships?

17. If you could only take one point from this book to utilize in your next
relationship, which point would that be?

18. How does it make you feel to know that men aren't really
interested in you if they don't have their three essential needs lined
up "who they are, what they do, and how much they make"?

19. How did reading this book change your perspective on dating?

20. Do you think you fit into the category of a keeper, or a sports fish?

A Piece of Cake

Here are the questions for the group discussion. Please feel free to post your comments here as well.


1. How do you think Cupcake and Larry’s trail through the foster care system would have been
different if they had been close? Do you think it would have helped either of them later in
life?

2. On page ten Cupcake says, “That was one thing about me. I didn’t have many people in my
life, but those I had I loved fiercely.” Do you think this changed as she moved through the
foster care system, and then onto drugs, drinking, etcetera? Why or why not?

3. Discuss the adult figures Cupcake had in her life while she was growing up—Daddy, Jr, Mr.
Burns, Diane Dobson. With these role models, could she have found a better way out of her
situation then turning to drugs and alcohol?

4. Why do you think Cupcake was so easily swayed by the thinking that “Nothing comes for
free”? How did she make the leap from applying this thought to material items and food to
less concrete realities like love and acceptance?

5. Do you think Cupcake would have changed her ways earlier if she had been able to complete
her first pregnancy? Or like Kelly, would the partying, drinking and drugs have won out
over a child? Do you think having someone to look after the baby for her would have
influenced her either way?

6. Why do you think Cupcake had several abortions after her first lost pregnancy? Was it simply
a matter of wanting to live a fast life, or do you think she was afraid to let herself love and
be responsible for another person?

7. Cupcake finally admits to not liking herself and begins the long road to developing self
acceptance, self worth, and self love. Have you ever struggled with your self image or self
worth? If so, did Cupcake’s story help you in any way?

8. On page 308, the cop “Preacher’ says to Cupcake, “Now don’t get me wrong. Nobody belongs
out here. But some people…well, they need to be here. They don’t want anything better for
themselves. They’re too far gone. They don’t want to come back.” What do you think
“Preacher” saw about Cupcake that convinced him she wasn’t one of the people who “don’t
want to come back”? Do you think Cupcake began to listen to him at this point?

9. On page 326, Cupcake says, “I’d quit talking to daddy and Jr because all we did was argue:
they fuss about how I was fucking up my life, and I wanted to know if they had any money
I could borrow. In my mind, unless they had money to give, we had nothing to talk about.”
Discuss the similarities between Cupcake’s attitude here and Mr. Burn’s attitude towards the
insurance money. Do you think Cupcake realized the similarities? Do you think she would
have changed her ways if she did?

10. Compare and contrast the roles that Fly and Larry played in Cupcake’s life. Why do you
think she allowed Fly to be more of a brother to her than Larry? Did it have to do with
their gang participation?

11. On page 411, Venita asked Cupcake if she ever grieved for her mother. Do you think
Cupcake could have avoided her addictions and problems if someone would have taken
the time to ask this and help her through the stages of grief?

12. Discuss the inspirational qualities of a story like Cupcake’s. Has her story influenced you to
make any changes in your own life?